It's been a while

I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged! I think one of my New Year's resolutions will be to keep up with my blog. Or, at least post more often than once every 2 years.

I don't know how many people actually read my blog. In case anyone does, I'll give a little update/synopsis of life in the Graham household.

In May of 2012, I finally graduated from college. My feelings on this are divided. Sure, I'm proud that I can now call myself a college graduate, even though it's an Associate's degree in General Studies, which has very little use in the employment field. On the other hand, I started college in 1999. Or was it 1998? Yeah, I think it was 1998, because I had to go to class on my wedding day (I got married on a Friday night) because my professor wouldn't accept, "I'm getting married today," as a reason to miss class. What I'm saying is, it took me 14 years to get my 2 year degree. Here's how it went down:

1998- I took my first "real" full course load at VWCC, all core courses, because I had NO idea which career path I was interested in. I took the AP/dual enrollment English class my senior year of high school, so according to VWCC, I enrolled in September of 1996. Geez, my time at VWCC gets longer, and longer, and longer. Anyway, I finished my first semester in December of 1998 and had to take the next semester off because Hunter, my oldest, was born in April of 1999. I figured having a newborn and taking finals wouldn't go well together, so I took the semester off.

I went back in August of 1999 and decided it would be "fun" to take a Drawing I class as one of my electives. Never mind that I can't draw stick figures accurately...I get these bright ideas (or at least I think they're bright), and nothing can convince me it's a bad idea until there's an epic fail. Drawing I WAS an epic fail, and I sucked at it (I think I made a C). My instructor really didnt' like me for some reason. BUT, one good thing was, I loathed my totally insane drawing instructor, and so did this hilarious girl sitting beside me in drawing class. That hilarious girl was named Bryana, who to this day is still a friend of mine. I took 2 or 3 more semesters off when I went back to work full-time. I got pregnant with my 2nd son and ended up being a SAHM, so I decided to try and take a few more classes. Bryana and I both decided, when we were both over halfway finished with our degrees, it would be super fun if we tried for a Communication Design degree. Never mind that, in addition to lack of drawing skills, I lacked doing anything creative on the computer, and I had no idea how to use a Mac, which is what ALL Comm Design classes use. I took comm Design classes for I don't even know how many more semesters. I took Art History classes, which turns out I really loved taking, Typography, and some graphic design classes. I realized Graphic Design wasn't for me, so I looked into my options and realized I only had a few classes left to get my General Studies degree. By this time, I was in my mid-20's and just wanted to get it over with. Most of my classes left I was able to take via distance learning, which was good for me because finding time to take classes when you have 2 kids and you're working part-time...you get the idea.

I worked my butt off taking my distance learning classes. I was also fertile Myrtle and was pregnant with my 3rd kiddo. Bryana and I took Biology 101 Hybrid together when I was pregnant with Arissa. I had labs one Saturday a month for 4 months. I went to my last Biology lab 8 months pregnant, and took my Biology final 3 weeks before my due date. She was born January 10, 2004, so I took that semester off, which had to be an act of God, because Arissa was born with health problems and was hospitalized 7 times in her first year. I stupidly went back in August of 2004 and took more distance learning classes. That semester was the worst semester for me, because I had to keep up with a 5 year old, a 2 (and by October, a 3) year old, and a very sick girl who was in the hospital 3 times that semester. I was fortunate to have teachers who were flexible with me; I mean, what do you say to a student who calls and says, "I can't come in and take my test, because my baby is in the hospital and I can't leave her"? I finished that semester and I was burned out. Even though I only had 6 credits left to graduate, I couldn't handle school any more.

2004 was a hellish year for me, and I was physically and emotionally burned out. Although Arissa's health issues weren't life-threatening, to ensure that she would grow and thrive, I was dealing with 3 doctors, weekly weight check-ups, bolus feedings, g-tube feedings, apnea monitors, monitors going off multiple times nightly, numerous hospitalizations for failure to thrive, a hospitalization from c-diff, corrective surgery for her, and then accusations that I was intentionally causing her to not gain weight. School was the last thing I cared about. I was burned out and decided to stop going after my December 2004 semester.

I went back to school the summer of 2011. I talked to my Academic adviser and found out that I did NOT have to take a Math class I thought I had to take. Because I had taken so, so, so many classes in my various changes in majors, one of those many, many, many classes could be substituted for my Math class. I only had 4 credits needed to complete my General Studies degree. WOO-HOO! So, the summer of 2011, I took my last class: Biology 102. I took my final exam on my 32nd birthday. A couple months later, I got the letter from VWCC stating I had completed all the necessary courses and could apply for graduation. At first, I wasn't going to go to graduation, because I think it's ridiculous that it took me as long as it did to get a 2 year degree, and I was embarrassed to make a huge show of it. After being urged by family and friends, I decided to go through with it. Here I am with my diploma. I had a lot of family and friends come to watch me walk across the stage, and I appreciate everyone who came and cheered for me.

When I try to explain why I don't think graduating is a big deal, I hear a lot of responses of assurance. "You were raising a family and working. Of course it took you longer than normal." I know it's bad to compare myself to anyone else, but I can't help but think about the fact that somewhere out there, there are people whose situations were/are a million times worse than mine who put themselves through college at a faster pace. Single moms with absolutely no help working full-time and taking college courses. Kids who worked 2 jobs so they could afford tuition while going to school full-time. Even recent high school graduates who worked and went to school. I was just an indecisive person who changed majors, took time off, then got burned out and almost quit. And I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
/
It turns out this blog post ended up being all about me, which wasn't my intention. To keep this blog post from turning into a novel, I shall say...To be continued...

New beginnings

I sent my oldest child off to middle school the other week. It was a big step for him, and for me. As parents, we know that our purpose is to raise our children to become successful and independent, yet each stage they reach is difficult for parents.

My kids (except Arissa) are out of the snuggly stage. Tyler won't hold my hand in public any more. He says, "What if someone I know sees me holding your hand??" Yes, being a parent is difficult at times, seeing your child need you less and less, yet at the same time, it makes a parent proud to see what their child can accomplish.

Hunter was pretty scared about starting middle school. He was very scared of his locker, scared of the new people, nervous that he'd get lost, and VERY nervous about dressing out for P.E. Yet, 2 weeks later, he has his schedule down pat, can get his locker open, and, although he isn't crazy about it, dresses out in the boys locker room (which, by the way, he has informed me that the boy's locker room REEKS- and I have to wonder, coming from an 11 year old boy who we have to nag to take a shower and change his socks, if he thinks it smells that bad, it must be BAD). Middle school is teaching him to be responsible on his own.

Nobody said being a parent was easy.

The chaos of a school morning

Why do I love summer so much? Maybe it's because I love flip flops and shorts. Maybe it's because I love the pool. Or maybe it's because I don't have any kids I have to drag out of bed and get out the door by 7:05. Seriously, mornings are my LEAST favorite part of school. My middle child, Tyler, is SO NOT A MORNING PERSON. He drags his feet half the morning and is grouchy. He doesn't want to eat. He just wants to stare at the wall. (Gee, where did he get that from??) I adore my kids, but he is a bear to get ready in the morning, no matter how prepared we are the night before. You can drag a kid out of bed, but once he's out of bed, the only thing you can do is nag, nag, nag them to get ready. I can't say I blame him. I hate mornings, too. I take that back. I detest mornings. Summer, I may complain about how hot it is when you are around, and I may complain about the kids being in my hair all. day. long. But I miss my lazy summer days already. Getting up at 6:15 is for the birds.

Pity Party, and ode to Sarah

This is my pity party, because it's my blog and I can whine if I want to.

I find it hard to make/keep any close friends. It makes me feel like a loser. It's *always* me who has to pick up the phone to call. People don't typically call me to check and see how I'm doing, if I'm still alive, etc. It makes me sad, because after a while I feel like I'm harassing them. I always thought I was pretty fun in a social setting. I'm shy sometimes. Other times I talk a lot. I have ADD, so I tend to be socially awkward, but I don't want to put myself out there any more, because I usually wind up getting hurt in the long run. The *one* person in my life who knew the phone worked both ways, well, she's living in another country, going to vet school, and more than likely she's never going to live here again. Sometimes the kids and the husband just don't cut it, KWIM? But socially awkward me only manages to go out with friends every 2-3 months, and it's usually *me* who has to instigate anything. Sorry if anyone is pissed from this post, but I'm really, really sad right now, because I'm realizing that, in general, I'm merely an acquaintance to most people I know.

I miss my BFF. She's the one person who loves me and accepts me, with my socially awkward personality, negativity and all. Sarah, thank you for being my best friend through thick and thin, through good times and bad, through all my mental times, through my pregnancies, my childbirths, hormones and all. Thank you for listening to my crying through all my teenage drama, for being in my wedding (and helping me plan through the madness), and being an aunt to my children. I <3 you, dear, and I miss you so terribly.

Secret vault of words rejected by the Oxford English Dictionary uncovered

I don't know why some of these were rejected...

Earworm – a catchy tune that frequently gets stuck in your head
("Ca-li-fornia girls, we're undeniable, daisy dukes, bikinis on top"...yeah, you're welcome).

Espacular – something especially spectacular.
Hmm, I can see that being used for sarcastic purposes. Like, when I say something is awesome; for example, "My daughter woke me up 4 times last night. Awesome." (Sarah got me hooked on that word. Thank you, Ms. Janney)

Furgle – to feel in a pocket or bag for a small object such as a coin or key
Yep, been there, done that. Although I have to wonder when the object rolls over from the "small" category to the "regular" category? I have 4 keys and 2 keychains, so is that still considered small?

Headset jockey – a telephone call center worker
I like that MUCH better than customer service rep!!!

Optotoxical – a look that could kill, normally from a parent or spouse
Oh yeah, my kids have gotten those looks before. Husband, too.

Polkadodge – the dance that occurs when two people attempt to pass each other but move in the same direction
This is the perfect description for what Lesley and I do every time we work together. It is inevitable that, at some point in the evening, we'll almost run into each other, and polkadodge in order to avoid a head-on collision.

Spatulate – removing cake mixture from the side of a bowl with a spatula
I don't have much of an opportunity to do this. Usually, my kids just ask to lick the bowl.

Sprummer – when summer and spring time can't decide which is to come first, usually hot one day then cold the next.
Welcome to Virginia, home of sprummer.

Whinese – a term for the language spoken by children on lengthy trips
Do the trips have to be lengthy? Because my kids speak whinese on a daily basis, regardless of the length of the trip we're taking.

Giving credit to http://www.telegraph.co.uk for the use of words in their article

Childhood and summertime

Being a kid today is WAY different from when I was a kid. And I'm not talking about the "I had to walk to school in 6 feet of snow" kind of way. (Although, on a serious note, I *did* have to walk in the snow to catch the bus...no lie. My dad's gravel driveway was almost 1/2 a mile, and the bus stopped at the top of the driveway. When it snowed, which "back in my day" it snowed a lot- hellooooo blizzards of '93 and '96- we had to walk to the bus stop, or miss school. And in order to miss school in my house, you had to be near death). When I was a kid, we had more independence than kids today do. (Again, more in the "mom locked the door for the entire day" kind of way). Not that I don't allow my kids to have independence, but I think it's no secret that the dangers of the world are more frequently in the media today vs. when I was a kid...anyway, that's a different subject for a different time. I have some special memories of summertime from when I was a kid, and I'd like to take this opportunity to share some with my 2 blog readers :)

-Honeysuckle. Oh, how I loved walking around picking honeysuckle off people's vines. (Today that would be called trespassing). I loved the smell of honeysuckle, too, and I got so excited when that tiny bit of honey came out!

-Ice cream trucks. Yup, our neighborhood had an ice cream truck that came by, and buddy, he was a busy ice cream man. I loved standing in line with my 2 quarters in my had (yep, .50) eagerly pondering which frozen treat I'd pick. Most of the time my choice was the "bomb pop".

-Roaming the neighborhood all day. My mom was a lucky one. We could roam the neighborhood all day, with all the kids in the neighborhood. We'd come in when the street lights came on, or maybe the couple of random times when we got hungry or needed to go to the bathroom. Sometimes Mom would lock the doors, so if we were hungry or had to use the bathroom, we were out of luck. (What would the neighbors think if I locked my kids out of the house today? I'd probably go to jail.)

-Lemonade stands. My mom worked, so we stayed with my grandma during the day, which meant a whole other set of friends. I distinctly remember setting up several lemonade stands during the summer. Our lemonade was made of the instant powdered stuff, in an empty gallon milk jug with some paper cups, and we made a stand out of some random cardboard box we found in Grandma's basement. The 2 or 3 people that walked or drove by would have pity on us and pay the .25 for a cup of warm lemonade, which meant that we consumed most of it.

-The beauty shop. My grandma ran a beauty shop in her basement. She permed and cut little old ladies hair day in and day out while her grandchildren were under her feet. I loved hanging around the beauty shop, watching my grandma giving perms and manicures to her lady friends, while they sat under those hair dryers and read the plethora of magazines on Grandma's table. When it came time for Grandma to trim my hair, I'd pretend I was one of her customers.

-Cooking lessons. Staying with Grandma meant lots and lots of cooking. My grandma is the reason I know how to cook. Mom says she remembers every time Grandma would get out her pots and pans, I'd drop whatever I was doing to come running in the kitchen to help out. My grandma had a garden, and I'd help her "snap" and "string" the beans, cut cucumbers and squash, and bake whatever it was she was about to put in her oven. She did a lot of baking, too. By the time I was 10, I could crack eggs and scramble them, make a salad (not the bagged stuff, either), and put together a basic spaghetti dinner.

-My friend Erin. We went to different schools, and she lived in my grandma's neighborhood, so I mostly only saw her in the summer. I guess you could say she was my "summer BFF". We roamed my grandma's neighborhood (which I would NOT advise doing today), picking grapes off the neighbor's grapevine (again, trespassing today, but he loved the company), ran through the sprinkler...and on and on.

Of course, I have a *lot* more memories of summertime, but this is what has come to mind so far. To be continued?...

You can't make this stuff up

My most recent conversation with my 6 year old daughter, Arissa:

Arissa: Mom, can I cut my bangs off?
Me: WHAT?!?!?! Why on earth do you want to cut your bangs off?
Arissa: (In her best sarcastic, "duh mom" voice) Because I made a unicorn horn out of paper, and I'm trying to tape it to my head, but it won't stick because my bangs are in the way. So I figured if I cut my bangs REAL short, my unicorn horn would stick to my forehead.
Me: no ma'am, you are NOT cutting your bangs off. They will take months and months to grow back.
Arissa: -sigh- I guess I won't be a majestic creature, then.

At least she asked for permission first...right?