Friday, November 7, 2014

Talk to Text Epic Fail

My daughter has a kind of unique name.  Her name is Arissa. *Not* MArissa, not CLArissa, not Melissa, but Arissa.  Yes, it's different.  And my talk to text doesn't want to recognize her name.  It fights her name with every fiber of its being. 

One time, I was texting with Scott (my husband, for readers who don't know that), and I told him, "Well, Arissa is in the tub."  It translated it to, "A wrestler is in the tub."  Needless to say, all my husband could respond with was, "?????? WHAT is in the tub????"  I had to reiterate, "Your daughter...NOT a wrestler."

Some other talk-to-text fails with her name:

-Reza (I don't know what that is?!?!)

That's not the only time my talk to text has epically failed.  At my former job as a preschool teacher, I was texting my assistant, who was subbing for me that day.  I was informing her that we were reviewing the letters "L M N O," but instead, it said, "L I am in Ohio."  Now, I was on the way to my grandmother's funeral, and she was kind of confused when she got a text saying I was in Ohio.

My son has a phone that sometimes likes to push all kinds of keys he didn't touch on the touch screen QWERTY keyboard when he types a text.  One time, he texted me and it said:

L Pllmyll PPS Lil roll 

LplplLll no lull poop LLD lpall
MP3 all
My phone is possessed (but he typed that last line himself)

I laughed that his phone said 'poop'.
He said it almost said "Llama lollipop"

Technology has come very far, but still makes me scratch my head...

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Moms with young 'uns at home, this is for you.

Call centers that use the voice-operated menu instead of a menu where you push the number of your selection should have an option for moms with young kids at home that says something like, "If you are calling about your account, please say your account number now.  If you have small children at home, please hold the phone up to the loud noise in the background now, and you will be transferred the the next available representative."

Seriously, why do companies have menus where you have to speak to a computer in order to get through to a live person, and when you try pressing 0, "We did not recognize your selection," and BAM, they hang up on you?? Have these companies never heard the noises small children make??

"Please say your account number now."  "Two..."  "MOOOOOM!! The baby is eating a crayon!!"  -Pots banging in background-  -crashing noise-  "We're sorry, we did not recognize your response.  Please try again."  And forget shutting yourself in a room.  The "voice sensor"  WILL PICK UP the sound of the children banging on the door of the room you shut yourself in.  "Mama! What'cha doing, mama? You going potty? I want a snack! Mama?" Meanwhile, the other child is letting out blood-curling screams, because any time your face isn't visible, you've clearly disappeared off the face of the Earth.  Eventually, the automated system gives up and says, "Please try your call again later."  Sure, sure.  Maybe when they're in college and the house is quiet?