The birds!

So, I drive a really lame car. Very lame, indeed. A minivan. I was pretty excited about it at first, but now, the fact that my mommy-ness follows me around everywhere I go, kids or no kids, is a bit irritating. I should have gone with the Suburban.

Anyway, since Spring has rolled around, I've had problems with birds using my car as their, um, restroom facilities. Not my neighbor's cars. Not my husband's car. My car. Why my car? Is there something special about my car that attracts birds? Is my car not lame enough? Do the birds convene with each other, trying to make my car lamer than it already is? Yeah, let's poop bomb the minivan! One on the windshield! A little on the side! Some on the bumper! (Yes, the BUMPER). That should make that lame minivan lamer! Washing it, yeah, that works...until the next bird comes along...