Why Parents Eat Fast

People watch in amazement when I eat. I eat like I'm being timed. Fast, and barely tasting my food. Why do you think parents, especially moms, eat like they are trying to beat a Guinness Book of World Records record? Stay at home moms can answer this! In one word: kids. Have you ever had 3 kids under the age of five? Have you ever tried to eat with 3 kids under the age of five? Unless you are quick on your feet, it doesn't happen. As in, you eat fast and without tasting anything.

Here was a typical breakfast/lunch for me. I make 2 of the kids something to eat, ie, a bowl of cereal or oatmeal. I give them both a glass of milk. The 2 sit down to eat, and I make kid #3 a bottle or bowl of baby cereal, put the baby in the high chair, and proceed to feed the baby while I tried to eat my food. I start feeding the baby, and kid #1 needs more milk. I get kid #1 more milk, and resume feeding the baby. Kid #2 spills some milk. I clean up milk. Baby is squawking because baby is hungry, so I resume feeding baby. Kid #1 is finished with breakfast, but is still hungry, so I give kid #1 something to eat. Kid #2 sees kid #1 with more food, and wants something else to eat, too. I give kid #2 something to eat while trying to feed the baby, who is trying to eat her fists because she's starving. By the time breakfast is over, I'm over breakfast.

Dating Already

Hmmm. My 5 year old has a boyfriend. As a matter of fact, my daughter has TWO boyfriends. Yep, she's quite the popular one. She has a second boyfriend because her first boyfriend freaked out when she began discussing marriage. Isn't that such a stereotypical male?

Assault of the Girl Scouts

Have you noticed that when Girl Scouts start selling cookies, they are EVERYWHERE? I wouldn't be able to pick out a Girl Scout in a police lineup 11 months out of the year, but buddy, cookie time comes around, and the are EVERYWHERE! Wal-Mart, Kroger, the gas station, walking up and down the street, knocking on doors...

I went to Kroger the other day, and there they were, camped out in front of the entrance door. Six of them, to be exact. I've already bought 4 boxes of GS cookies, so I didn't need any more. I stood firm when they surrounded me and announced, "GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! We're trying to raise money for a trip! Would you like to buy a box?" "No thanks, I already bought several boxes from someone," I replied, as their faces fell. That's how they get you, with the guilt trip. I did my shopping, thinking I was off the hook, and when I went to leave, there were MORE of them! They surrounded both entrances, so you can't get away from them!

I ended up with an extra box of cookies. When else can you buy Caramel deLites, AKA SAMOAS...