Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Why my daughter will not have earrings until she is 18

The other week, I took Arissa out for a girl's day. I had to buy her a new bathing suit, so we headed to the mall. While we were there, she started a conversation we've had 100,000 times. "Mom, I REALLY want to get my ears pierced." I was 8 when I got my ears pierced, and Arissa knew this, so since she turned 8, she's begged me to let her get her ears pierced. I know my daughter. She has a VERY low tolerance for pain. She skins her knee and you would think an amputation is in the near future. I was very open with the fact that getting your ears pierced is no walk in the park-I mean, I have 7 ear piercings, so I kind of know what I'm talking about. I've told her that it WILL hurt when they pierce them, and they WILL hurt for a few days to a week after, and that she WILL have to clean them multiple times a day, which WILL NOT feel like a massage. I reiterated this, and she continued to beg me, promising me that she's a big girl and can handle the discomfort. I let her watch another girl get her ears pierced, and she still wanted to go through with it. I reminded her about caring for them, and how they'll hurt for a few days after, and that sleeping might be uncomfortable for a few days. She still wanted them, so I OK'd it. She bravely climbed up in the chair and sat there while they prepped their piercing equipment.

                           Arissa with Gilly, before piercing

 She asked me to hold her hand, so I complied. 1,2,3, and it was done. Her face afterwards should have been my first hint.

                       I daresay, this isn't the face of a happy child              

While I paid for her earrings, she complained that she felt sick to her stomach because she was in SO MUCH PAIN (which I reminded her about before the piercing commenced).  We had to go sit on the bench outside the store until she finally calmed down.  I went into one more store, and she told me that she'd feel a lot better if she had a cookie.  (That is one way I know she is my child).  We got the cookie, went home, and she immediately called her friends to tell them about her new earrings.  She even forgot that her ears hurt for a while, when we did some "Bad Furby" pictures. 

Then the time came to clean and turn her earrings.  I went ahead and popped a Xanax, because I knew this would be one of the most overdramatic moments of my day.  We put the cleaning solution on her ears, and she howled.  We tried to turn the earrings.  And by tried, I mean I chased her around the house while she screamed and begged me not to touch them.  I finally sat on her got her to sit beside me so I could turn the earring.  She told me they were too tight, so I tried to loosen the back of her earring, but all I did was look at it and she screamed that it hurt.  I told her that if we didn't do this, the earrings were coming out.  She finally sat sill for .03 seconds while I grasped the earring.  As soon as I touched her earring, she went into orbit and I pulled too hard, so the earring came allllll the way out.  I told her to stop moving so I could put it back in.  As soon as I put the earring up to her ear, she screamed at such high octaves, Mariah Carey would be green with envy.  I'm pretty sure her screams could second as a dog whistle.  She wouldn't let me put it back in.  She swore that the hole was already closed up.  I chased her around the house for another 10 minutes, telling her I would sit on her and cram it back in her ear that we had to get it back in, or it WOULD close.  Unfortunately, a 9 year old is much, MUCH faster than a 33 year old.  She won.  The earring didn't go back in, and she took the other one out.

I told her that we would re-consider getting her ears pierced again when she is 18 when she starts middle school.  Hopefully, I can convince her that she doesn't need them until she's in college.  I imagine holding down a 6th grader while turning newly-pierced earrings is a LOT harder than holding down a 60 lb. 9 year old girl.

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