Monday, August 5, 2013

What NOT to tell a woman who wants chocolate

Eating healthy is something that is important to me. Obviously, in order to live a long and healthy life, fruits and vegetables are the choice foods to achieve that goal. Whatever the My Plate by USDA recommends. I love fruits and veggies-I was the only kid in my family who ate them. My grandma use to fuss at me for going into her garden and getting into her carrots and cucumbers. 

 But, lemme tell ya something, folks. When a woman is craving chocolate, and apple or a handful of baby carrots JUST DON'T CUT IT. Carrots don't taste like chocolate. Neither does an apple. If I were blindfolded and given a taste test, with a chocolate bar as item A, and a carrot as item B, I guarantee I can tell you which one is the chocolate. They do NOT taste the same, people!! And, I don't care what health nut gurus say: eating fruit is NOT THE SAME AS EATING CHOCOLATE. And, and, a carrot won't make my craving for chocolate magically disappear. I want a Hershey bar, not a flippin' carrot. Carrots do not have any milk chocolate-y goodness to them. Carrots are great-don't get me wrong. But, when hormones turn us ladies into moody, homicidal maniacs, the smartest/safest thing to say is, "What type of chocolate would you like? You look great, by the way." The DUMBEST thing you could say goes along the lines of, "Don't you think a nice apple would be better than that fattening chocolate bar? It'll make you gain weight." Because, I will throw the apple at your head and retreat into my corner with my chocolate bar, while mumbling, "My preeeeecioussssss."


LMC said...

that last line made me giggle, I'm following now :)

Jeff said...

Dark chocolate (in moderation) is actually good for your heart.

Lavender said...

I eat fruit with my chocolate. Chocolate chips fit perfectly into raspberries. I hollow out strawberries and fill them with melted chocolate. (Then I eat the extra chocolate!)

I absolutely agree. If you want chocolate, there is no excuse to not have any!!!

Sherry Walker said...

How very true...I went through a period of time when I ate the mess out of Hershey kisses. I would sneak eat them so my husband didn't know. He didn't care, I just didn't want him to know my "addiction". My daughter thought she was in labor and we sat eating Hershey kisses timing contractions. We ate the whole bag. She was in labor and saved the kiss wrappers to show my grandson some day. Ha Ha!!